"Don't Leave Me" 4-14-08

"Don't Leave Me" 4-14-08

Look back on all the times we had.

and all the times i made you glad.

and skip the ones where i made you sad..

I love you, and that will always be true.

And i'm sorry for the things I say.

I wouldn't have you any other way.

all I want to say right now is

Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me.

do you even see me? I don't care, just please don't leave me.

Listen to me now!

I command you not to die!

"Please!" I say, "don't make me cry.."

All of this just isn't right..

None of this is even fair...

All this crap just makes my heart tear.

Do what ever you want, just please don't leave me.

I can't stand this! Can't you see?

Please I plead. Just don't leave me.

You just can't die.

I won't allow it.

Don't die, just please don't quit.

I need you. Don't leave me.

Can't you see?

I need you, dont leave me.

Masquerade 4-8-08 and 4-9-08

Masquerade 4-8-08 and 4-9-08

Everyday I'm in a masquerade.
Pretending to be who i'm really not.
Marching in the same parade.
Someones help is what i sought.

I try and be strong. I hold my head high.
But on the inside i just want to die.
Someone save me or here I'll lie.
All i have to ask is why.

Why me? Why us?
All I want to do is raise a fuss,
And to cry all night.
All i want is everything to be alright.

But everyday I'm in a masquerade.
Pretending and pretending that i'm ok.
Acting like everyone else's maid.
Always coming to their aid.

How was I picked to live in this hell?
I wear a mask, but things are never well.
I call out for help but no one hears.
Almost as if they have no ears.

They don't understand what i'm going through
They don't understand the things that I do.
They don't get how these things effect me.
and when I cry they don't see.

No one ever comes to my aid.
'Cause everyday i'm in a masquerade.
As I march in the same damn parade.

My Finally 4-7-08 and 4-8-08

My Finally 4-7-08 and 4-8-08

I'm on a ship
The waters deadly
As I scream, i begin to slip.
I just can't seem to hold myself steady.

Come on lightning! come and strike me!
Strike me down! Make me fall!
Let me sink down under the dea.
"Strike me!" i scream. "Hit me!" i call.

Let the oceans I've cried engulf me.
I want to be completely happy finally.
But when's my finally? I can't see.
All i see is this great sea.

Come on lightning! Knock me off this mast!
Into the seas that are now avast.
So that I may look into my past,
and maybe I will find my finally at last.

Free 3-23-08

Free 3-23-08

I once was a bird. bound and beaten.
I watched the other, all my food eaten.
But now i'm free! I broke through their rope!
Flying twords the sun with a final glimmer of hope!
I am free! no longer bound!
and yet i'm sad, for i'm not found.
but i have friends, thats all i need.
and i'll sit with them as i eat my seed.


(this was a very rushed poem.)

I Will Survive 3-23-08

note: i wrote this on request of my friend who went through a breakup.

"I Will Survive" 3-23-08

My trust I had instilled in you.
Your love I've found, to be untrue.
To me you said, that u never dumped
For no reason. Never left them stumped.
Yet here i am, hurt and confused.
Sitting around feeling betrayed and used.
I thought you were different, not like other guys!
And now that thought, is the one i despise.
Were you cheating? Was I not good enough for you?
These are the questions I sit around and muse.
Don't be a liar! Just tell me why!
What did I do, to make to make you say goodbye?
Now I see your just another guy...
All you do is sit and lie.
Soon you'll see you've made a mistake.
My warmth you'll want to feel, my hand you'll want to take
And when i find another guy
Be jealous as i walk on by.
So what if your not my guy?!
I will survive! And i will just walk on by.

LOVE 3-15-08

note: i did not write this from personal experience, i wrote this from being inspired by a friends feelings.


"Love" 3-15-08

The warmth of your skin

The beat of your heart

Always leaves me wondering

If we will ever part

Your soft, warm scent

Left lingering on me

Happiness is what its meant

Happiness to be, happiness still left unseen

The strength of your hand

Yours in mine

Our fingers intertwined

Makes me wonder;is he really mine?

And makes me see, we'll do just fine.

Your mine? is it true?

Am I dreaming? Someone wake me.

Am I really here with you?

So tell me this so i can see.

Do you care for me like I for you?

Do you think of these things too?

Cause baby, I think I love you.

And I need to know if you love me too.

Message in a Bottle 2-27-08

(i found an old poem of mine and decided to put it up!)

"Message in a Bottle" 2-27-08

Why all the pain and the hate?

Why cant we all just communicate.

All the talks and the lies, Just the things we all despise.

Why cant we all get along, Instead we all just fight and march on.

Sometimes we march in the right, Sometimes we march in the wrong.

And yet all we do is fight,

It keeps on going, all along.

We keep things bottled up And all it gets us is into a depressed stage.

To afraid to turn the page.

To scared to move on, to stuck in the past.

Praying that this hurt and pain wont last.

Your too sad to talk,

To scared to not.

Your not sure which way to walk,

Or which place to stop, afraid you'll get caught.

We're all sick of this pain and hate.

And yet we all refuse to communicate.

We know what to do.

And yet we refuse.

We just sit around a muse.

Instead of what we should do.

We should act, not sit and ponder.

We should talk, but instead we sit and let our minds wander.

Are you a message in a bottle? yes.

So open up. let me in so i can receive your s.o.s.

How dare you 3-8-08

How dare you 3-8-08

Were your sorrys true?

Or are you just a fake?

For right now i don't trust you.

I mean you've done it again for goodness sake!

How dare you!

What, did you expect me to spare you?

You don’t even care now do you?

All you wanted was joy to impair you..

You had your eye on the prize.

It was all you saw.

No matter how many people you despise,

You stepped on them, then fell to a crawl

How dare you!

What, did you expect me to spare you?

You don’t even care now do you?

All you wanted was joy to impair you..

You cared not who you stepped on.

Or who you hurt.

As long as they stayed quiet, then you pretend there gone.

I mean you treat them all like dirt!

How dare you!

What, did you expect me to spare you?

You don’t even care now do you?

All you wanted was joy to impair you..

Maybe this is for the best.

Maybe I should just forget you.

Should I pursue this?

And witness the rest?

Our friendship is askew, no matter what you do.

How dare you!

What, did you expect me to spare you?

You don’t even care now do you?

All you wanted was joy to impair you..

The Circus 3-4-08

" I feel like I'm on a high wire, juggling the weight of the world. No net below. If I fall, will you catch me? Will you save me? or will you just watch me fall?"

The Hurt 3-4-08

The Hurt 3-4-08

Am i worth the breath? do they just not trust me? am i worth it? do they care? do they not see wat all this ignoration is doing to me? its not just one person, its multituldes, which makes me question myself, its not one person, so it must be something wrong w/ me. something i dont see. something they do. wat is wrong w/ me? is it something i've done? something i've said? i cant see it, but whatever it is is tearing me apart.
They dont see wat this is doing to me. the feeling that your friends, who are suppose to trust you, dont believe your worth the breath. the ones you've trusted to no end dont return the favor. it makes me question my value, am i here just for them to have fun? and talk about behind my back? secretely be mad at me, w/o ne explination? it hurts beyond explination to know that your best friends in the whole wide world dont care...
They dont care about the effect they have on you, and the ones that you have spilled out your whole heart to and yet they dont trust you enough to return the favor, like your not worth it. the ones who u've been there for every time, the ones who ment the world to you. it hurts to know that you dont mean the same to them. that the ones who u've trusted and loved the most, dont think ur worth it, and they dont care, they dont care how much they hurt you.

(these were also gmail statuses at one point so they also contain many grammatical mistakes as well as punctuation and many others lol!)

Unnamed and Unfinished 3-3-08 and 3-4-08

Unnamed and Unfinished 3-3-08 and 3-4-08

Should I be over you?
Should I be over this?
Should I perserveer and enjoy a fake bliss? Am I making this worse then it actually is?
should i just sit and watch as this grows in a fizz?
But as it grows,
And the whole world knows,
Is it still ok to forget?
Still ok to regret?

this is not finished, just fyi. but i like the beginning. :)

The Mask 2-28-08

The Mask 2-28-08

I don't know what to do.
I want to help and comfort you.
I feel like you won't let me in.
I want to talk, but when i ask i feel I've commit a sin.
I know you trust me, or I think you do.
But I just can't seem to break though.
You wear a mask, and try to hide.
I feel like I'm in a genocide.
I see past your mask, but i can't break through.
All I want is to talk to you.
I know it hurts as you ignore the pain.
But I'm through with playing this game!
I see all the tings you feel inside.
And it makes me realize how much you've cried.
I know I can help, just let me in!
I feel the pain climbing deep from within.
I feel guilty for i cannon comfort you.
And when I try, I'm wrong, for wrong is all I can do.
I see right through your mask, and I know you see it too.
So why pretend? Why play this game? All I want is to help you.
So please, I beg you, take down the mask, let the real you out.
And let me help you, scream cry, and shout.

Worried 2-27-08

(this has been called a poem by my friends but i do not consider it that. lol! it was my gmail status so i'll put it on here as well, tell me what you think.)

You have me worried all the time. I feel something is wrong and i have no control over it. I' feel you are troubled about something, but i cannot help for u dont want it. I find myself afraid 2 talk 2 u. because i'm afraid that i'll make things worse. i dont want 2 bother you, but i also want 2 help..


please excuse the spelling and grammatical mistakes, since this was my gmail status it was never ment to be made into a formal writing piece of any kind.

Betrayed and Backstabbed 2-12-08

Betrayed and Backstabbed 2-12-08


I will not be posting this piece due to its extreme detail and blateness, and its personal level. ONly one person besides myself has read it and began to cry reading it. it's an extremely emotional and detailed piecce that i do not feel comfortable to reveal, but i just wanted 2 let u kno that i am off the topic of guys and on 2 more serious topics lol :P (for now @ least!) hehe!

The Cure 2-8-08

The Cure 2-8-08

*note: the end of this piece of writing have been excluded from this post due to insanity when i wrote this and its fiction. (just the ending)

Love is such a thing that can never be completely forgotten. Even if your stabbed in the heart, a little piece of the dagger is always in your heart, a painful little reminder. You wish to push forward, but that little reminder is holding you back, restricting yo from loving again. The little piece damages your emotions, your trust, but most of all, your heart. You feel as if you can't love again. You want tit to work out. You want to try again. But even if you do there's always that little reminder. You can try again, try to forget, But you're always more cautious, not as willing. That little reminder can restrict you. I have a little reminder, and i find the only partial cure is to forget, or try to anyway. For you can never completely forget. I want to forget and move on but it's hard. But I've done harder and i know i can succeed, but I'm not sure if it's worth the effort.


*note: ok so i took alot off! LOL this was my longest piece so far and obviously it's relatively short! hehe :)